While we await the final vote on tax reform……
We’ve heard some pretty delusional ways to describe architectural features over the years. There are always certain less-than-desirable elements to any home and it makes sense to soften the bad things by lying… er— circumventing the truth. So what are the most common euphemisms we’ve come across? Read on:
“Cozy”
Nice try, this means tiny.
“Old world”
Means just old.
“Garden level”
Don’t be fooled, this means basement.
“Charming”
Small/weird.
“Shabby chic”
Usually more shabby, less chic.
“Open concept”
This is a studio where your bed is in the living room.
“Flooded with light”
It’s a nine-story walk up (you’re up so high though!).
“Full of character”
There’s a toilet in the kitchen.
“Funky”
On a good day, funky means interesting and cool or it might just mean super smelly.
“One of a kind”
Maybe there’s a reason they only made one?
“Rustic”
Run down
“Eclectic”
Random, haphazard layout and finishes.
“Comfortable”
This means worn in (if you’re lucky) or (more likely) nearly threadbare.
“Original”
No one’s bothered to update it.
“Great location/close to nightlife”
You live above a bar.
“Bonus Room”
Unpermitted
“Much potential”
We know it’s bad, but with enough $$$ you can make it good!
“Electrifying Views”
Power line towers
“Close to Nature”
Aggressive skunks
“Bike Paths From Your Door”
Meth heads to your door
“New Appliances”
Kitchen fire.
Mrs Dawg and I still laugh at “Any closet is a walk in closet if you try hard enough.”
“Affordable New California Home in Rustic Setting”
Welcome to Hesperia
“First Time for Sale in 30 Years”
Owner died in the den
“Condo For Sale in Miami Florida!”
Condo for sale in Miami, Florida
My personal favorite:
“Minutes”
Stunning home is minutes from downtown
Um, everything is minutes, but is it 15 minutes or 90???
“Pride of Ownership”
Shredded by lions.
“Peek-a-boo view”
Perverts special.